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IF U WISH TO MAKE AN APPLE PIE FROM SCRATCH, U MUST FIRST INVENT THE UNIVERSE
Posted on 15th Apr at 11:35 PM, with 315,883 notes

oknope:

you never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.

Posted on 15th Apr at 11:29 PM, with 47,454 notes

ohhowlucky:

danteogodofsoup:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

standupcomedyblog:

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

Posted on 15th Apr at 9:47 PM, with 123 notes

daytonastatecollege:

*on stage at coachella* this one is for all the ladies who put premium gas in their vehicles

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